Thursday, August 21, 2008

Why Achievers Keep Talking To Themselves In Their Mind When They Are Faced With Defeats?


Take notice and pay attention to the things you say to yourself every day! Many times you may catch yourself saying (not out loud but only in your head of course) something about yourself or your life that you would never, never in a million years say to another person. I’m talking about the limiting, self-deprecating, disparaging thoughts and silent comments that under-achievers have, the thoughts of doubt about their abilities and themselves, the feelings of disgust when they look in the mirror facing their doubting poor self-image.

Under-achievers failed to monitor their conversations and their thoughts they have about themselves. When they are faced with a challenge, a fearful situation, it is not common for them to react by talking to themselves and "commanding" themselves to overcome this fear and succeed on the challenges. This is in fact, a proven effective method used by achievers for overcoming fear. One theory of addressing the fear is to enhance the individual's concept of success. Achievers are able to imagine and believe that they can be successful at a certain event, encounter or situation; they command and use their fear to channel productive outcomes in what they are fearful to do.

According to research, there is one theory by a psychologist from Stanford University that overcoming fearful behavior can be addressed by self efficacy: the achiever's belief that he can overcome his fear. In effect, he addresses fear by "talking" to himself and believing that he can overcome it.

Changing the self-talk from negative to positive can in itself bring about a change in the mind-set. For one thing that achievers do is the very process of putting into words what they want rather than what they hope to avoid, changes their way of thinking. They think of the words that will bring about the associated mental pictures, and if the words are linked to something emotive, associated physical sensations too. So they start to see and feel what they want to achieve. This, hopefully, will have more pleasant associations and induce a more positive response – such as relaxation, confidence, or excitement – rather than the unpleasant response associated with the situation they want to avoid. So for example by replacing:

“I mustn’t get angry!” with

“I’ll stay calm”

They are also replacing the image and sensations of clenching fists, reddening face, losing control and feeling tense with those of staying relaxed, talking calmly, and discussing rationally. Using positive language forces them to formulate what they want, and to begin to manifest it by putting it into words.

Achievers’ self-talk—the words that they use to describe what is happening to them and to discuss how they feel about external events—determine the quality and tone of their emotional life. When they see things positively and constructively, and look for the good in each situation and each person, they have a tendency to remain positive and optimistic. Since the quality of their life is determined by how they feel from moment to moment, one of their most important goals should be to keep themselves thinking about what they want and to keep their mind off what they don’t want or what they fear.

When the mind is filled with positive self-talk energy, the soul will be uplifted with feelings of encouragement, self-motivation and a "can-do" attitude. Once the thinking is uncluttered, it will bring to completion things left dangling from the past and train the self-talk to focus only on being the achievers, and the road to success will be a much shorter journey.

If under-achievers pay attention to what is going in their mind, they will discover that the mind is in a constant state of thinking. There is a constant self-talk activity going on. They can actually use this self-talk to their advantage, when they know how. They can fill their mind with positive thoughts, and direct it toward achievement and success. They can do so by repeating positive words and statements, instead of occupying the mind with useless or negative thinking.

The starting point in the process of becoming a highly effective person like an achiever is to monitor and control the self-talk. The conscious mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or negative. If under-achievers deliberately choose a positive thought to dwell on, they keep their mind optimistic and their emotions positive.

The real power of self-talk lies in how it changes behavior. Simply correcting the internal programming will improve the mood, but it won’t do the most important job. The ultimate purpose of examining what is going on inside the head is to change actions that are self-defeating. Thinking correctly does alter the negative moods, but enduring change comes only with modifying the behavior.

To activate the full power of your self-talk, you must follow the path that your new, accurate inner messages point. Underachievers would need to actually terminate their current relationship and, with the aid of further encouraging and supportive self-talk, get back into social situations where they can meet new people and begin forming new relationships.

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Yours Sincerely
Sean Toh &
Credit Plus Health's Team